Q: Okay so im Rose im 17 and desperately need your advice, so ive known this guy Ben since my freshman yr of high school (im now about to graduate my senior yr) weve always been good friends and hung out a lot and saw eachother at parties and whatnot all through out high school, the middle of my freshman year (January 2011) ben told me he liked me and I had just gotten into a relationship with a guy 2 years older and turned Ben, down but continued to be good friends and stayed really close, after a year and a half of dating jimmy we broke up when he went to college because of the distance(july 2012), ben was always my go to person when me and jimmy were having problems because ben knew how much of a control freak he was so it kept us really close considering me and jimmy always fought, ben was now talking to this girl christina so it wouldn’t of been right to expect to just start talking to ben, Now starting my junior year I starting talking to this guy Anthony who was a year older and just started his senior year we started dating in October(2012) until this passed september (2013) because he was also going away to college. I know they alllll leave me L jk. Now that me and ben have been talking since November and both seem to be much more grown up and experienced, I have since moved a hour away from where I used to live in nyc but like the passed years me and ben have continued to stay closer than ever we both drive to eachothers house and see eachother atleast 3 times a week, my family loves him and his mom has wanted me to be with ben since the first time we met freshman year, he recently said “I love you” to me for the first time and I said it back things have gotten pretty serious between us and what I need your help with is whether I continue to be with him even though in 4 months we’ll be going to universities on opposite sides of the country ill be attending University of south Carolina, he will be attending- UCLA(hes super smart) the tricky thing is we’ll be going to each others proms together next month and I don’t want to be left without a prom date and potentially without a best friend , id really appreciate if you can take the time to read this and help me out , thanks in advance!
A: I’m sorry you’ve had such bad luck with boyfriends going away to college, I know how much that can suck. But if you and Ben both really care about each other, don’t break up just because of distance that will eventually occur. In august it’ll be smart to be aware of how tricky things will be and maybe space will help you guys keep what you have. But that’s so far down the road! Don’t let that control your choices now! You like this kid so be with him! Have a great time at prom, do stuff with him in the summer! College may change things for you guys or it may not. Right now you have no idea so all you can do is enjoy the time you guys have together now. I hope this helped and I hope you guys have a great time together whether it lasts 4 months or 4 years. Best of luck?
Alright, so for those who were following me back during the summer (thank you for staying with the blog!), you may remember the 20 year old Irishman I was dating from work? This is the guy I always second guess texting. Well, we broke up because we went to different Universities and lost touch a little but ended up talking again and we’ve met up a few times during breaks and such. And pretty much every time we’ve met up we’ve hooked up. Which I’m totally cool with! I know with our current situations a relationship is out of the cards and it’s nice to have fun together. But here’s where I need some help…
This past weekend I went down to his University to stay with a couple of my best friends who also go there. One of the nights we met up and head back to his place. I had a couple shots but was honestly not feeling it at all. However he had been drinking for 6 hours and was lose and carefree. On the way to his house I told him that I was officially applying to the same University because the one I attended last semester was hell which I thought he knew but apparently he thought I wasn’t super serious last time I said it so he got really excited when he found out it was true! (For the record I am not at all following him there.) He was saying how awesome it’ll be and that we can bang every day, ect. That’s also the same thing he said at the beginning of the summer when we first started hooking up and quickly turned into trips to the zoo and movie nights… So when we got back to his place we were hooking up and he said “I lo— missed you.” I ignored it. Then later in the middle of everything he said “I love you.” Not sure what context he meant it and being taken back, I ignored it again. Then he stopped mid-action, looked me dead in the eyes, and said “Holly, I love you.” And so I said it back! I think I love him, I know I used to, but it was honestly more to appease him since he kept saying it. I do care about him and have strong feelings, but I never expected the L word at this point. So after everything he asked if he could walk me back and said we should meet up again before I leave and everything that night was normal. But the next day, when I figured he’d want to meet up again, I got no reply to my texts. (“Whats up?” “Heyy” and “Dude I wanna have higghhhhh sex” Don’t judge. I was on brownies.) Beginning of the school year he ignored my texts so I know it’s a tactic he takes when he’s just not in the mood to talk. But I’m worried he’s freaked out that I said it back. His “profession of love” may have just been a drunken slip due to sexual excitement but I was sober. But I feel like if I text him about it he just won’t reply and it’ll make things more awkward. But if I don’t text him A. I won’t know if he meant it and B. I won’t be able to explain that it wasn’t as serious of a statement from me as he may believe.
So yeah. That’s my current situation. I was thinking about maybe texting him concerning a random subject like a movie that we both wannna see that just came out or his trip to the world cup. But still, I don’t know if that’ll solve anything. Soooo… advice? Anything?